Sometimes, being a mom just isn’t enough.
Whether you are used to working outside the home (and now work in the home), are still working outside the home, or something else, we all have passions and desires– and rightly fully so. We’ve went to school (for me, got my masters in social work-MSW), trained, and worked hard to pursue these passions.
But, when we have kids, often times, these passions and desires take a backseat to tending to our kids and family.
for me, I recently had an opportunity to apply for a job I could only dream of in my field, as a school social worker. And oh man, it would’ve been sweet. Pouring into these little kiddos, implementing programs, being a liaison between parents, school and kids, creating groups and curriculums, attending trainings and meetings on how to better serve underrepresented communities, it would’ve been SWEET! Did I mention it was at a GREAT district where the staff is awesome.
But, I had to wrestle mentally about where God wanted me. I mean, He gave me these talents and desires, so I know He wouldn’t want me to waste them as a stay at home mom right?
God also called me to be a mother and wife, and priority being managing the home (proverbs 31; proverbs 17:1). And some women can effectively do this AND work outside of the home. And if I’m being honest with myself (which I WAS NOT trying to do at first) I cannot do this effectively at this time.. things would fall behind- the chores, kids learning, quality time… (not that this is ALL things I do alone but I would be managing and delegating- which would still fall behind).
So I’m left with this: how did/do I reconcile this longing to use my gifts (outside of the home particularly) and my call as a mother and wife?
“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things”
this part of the psalm speaks of some who “wandered into desert wastes …… hungry and thirsty” (v.v. 4-5). God is the one who saved them by giving them a city to dwell in and satisfied their thirst and hunger..
In the same token, however, God satisfies us when we long for more than just food and drink. He satisfies us and our deepest desire for Him, for relationship (a desire He has given to us).
But also, like in my case, He satisfies the desires we have to use the gifts he’s given us. Psalm 37:4 says if we delight ourselves in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart.
If we are continually striving for Him, obeying Him, it’s only natural that our desires are HIS desires.. and in this case, He is so delighted to give them to us.
My desire, like maybe yours is too mama, to be there for people, to leave my mark on society through help and service, is a God given desire.. I am confident in His word, that He will satisfy this desire; one day in maybe opening my own non profit, or ministering to young women, or doing therapy and mental health with children. But until then, I know He will fulfill and satisfy this desire with my already good things– my husband and kids.
I can pour into them through my service at home, use what I’ve learned in my MSW program to serve them.. and when it’s time, because there will be a time, that God calls me back to work outside the home, I’m confident that the desire will be that much more gratifying and fulfilled because I delighted myself in God (by putting my home and family first by being a stay at home mom).
I truly believe God makes no mistakes. So mama… if you’ve had to put some things on hold for your kids, do that… but don’t lose it.. God is perfecting His work in you and that takes time. THIS is just a season, motherhood that is.. and when the kids are older, the freedoms change (I am speaking to myself too as I write this).
Now, I don’t have it all together. That longing will still be there. But my goal is to continue renewing my mind by committing this verse (psalm 107:9) and others to memory.. and speaking with godly women (as well as my husband) when I’m struggling and getting prayer, support and encouragement. I suggest you too mama, do the same.
Look below also to see some home management resources that a dear friend gave to me.
Hope they can be of use to you in helping to manage and do what God has called you to do.